Happiness

Those moments of utter happiness are what we live for.

To feel that knotted feeling in our stomachs, that can only be brought on by happiness.

These types of moments are hard to come by, and when you do come across one, you don't ever want it to end.

These moments make us delusional, from how high on life we become.

I'd like to just once in my life be able to determine how to bring about one of these moments, but I will never figure it out.

It's a pure chance.

Finding these moments are what we strive to do.

To forget about our day-to-day lives, and to forget about the sorrows of the world, just for that one moment of true happiness.

I find myself wishing for these moments more and more, each and every day.

I wish for a lot of things, but they never come true.

But yet, I never give up.

Maybe the issue is the intent of the wish.

So...

Here's to the moments of complete happiness.

The ones that you never find that often.

The ones that I've only experienced a couple of times.

And to the ones that I wish to happen, but never do:

Screw you.

Abyss of Emptiness

Those times of complete loneliness are when we are the most vulnerable.

Moments of utter abandonment.

Silence.

Emptiness.

Those are the times when we long for those that aren't there. Or even those that are physically there, but not mentally.

I have these moments frequently.

Especially ever since my best friend went off to college.

There are times in our life when we feel as though no one cares. As though no one is there.

When, in all reality, someone is.

God.

He's a great guy. I hope you know him.

So often we go through a tough time and need that shoulder to lean on, and that person to just listen. But so often, they aren't there.

We feel as though we are surrounded by an abyss of emptiness.

We can't find that person that we need to make us feel better. Alive, if you will.

To help us make the pain go away.

So, I ask you this:

If you think you are alone, why not ask God to be your comforter?

As The Days Go By

I like that quote. It's great.

But, unfortunately, it is true.

Growing older is mandatory.

The class of 2010's senior play, tonight, brought about this entry.

Some of my closest friends are graduating this year!

It's crazy.

So, I thought about some stuff tonight.

We all get older. Every second.

Life goes on.

The days of our lives go by oh so quickly, and it's amazing how no matter how much we may try, we never fully fufill our hopes and dreams.

As the days go by, I wish that I was back in time, starting kindergarten.

Or learning to ride a bike.

Things that you do once in your life, and never get back.

The kind of things that you wish you could do again and again.

We typically fear getting older, and I know I do.

I am scared of facing the real world. It's a cold place, especially when you're out there all alone, on your own.

So, I don't know why it is we can't go back and relive our childhoods, but if we could. I'd relive mine constantly, and never grow older.

But then I have to think.

If I never grew older, I would have never done all the things that I have done, or met all the people that I have met.

It's amazing how something that seems so good can be so deceptive and bad.

I guess in closing I'll ask this:

If you had the option of reliving your childhood for the rest of forever, or growing older, which would you choose? Why?

Chance the Leap

You know those people that prance into your life, and you don't know anything about? The ones that you end up falling for? Yeah, those. They are the worst.

These are the kinds of people that you either start off disliking, or immediately liking. They are also the ones that, over time, either grow on you or annoy the living daylights out of you. These are the kinds of people that I am scared to meet.

Why?

Because most of the time, if I do fall for one, they don't catch me, and I have to pick myself back up, and wait for the next cliff to come, that I fall off of.

It hurts. Plain and simple.

There is always that one person that you wish you could tell your feelings to, but then can't.

And why is that?

It's because you are afraid to go to the extreme, and leap off the cliff.

Falling is scary, but so is leaping.

There is someone that I should have said something to long before, but never did. I was scared of how hard the ground below would be, so that's why I fell.

I got back up, and moved on to the next cliff.

It was a different cliff.

But, now I'm back at that first cliff.

I'm debating over whether or not I should leap, or fall.

I am thinking that leaping is a big chance, and an even bigger risk.

The scary part of leaping isn't the initial jump or the free fall.

It's the fear of the unknown.

The unknown is not knowing whether or not that certain person will be at the bottom, to catch you, or if they will be at the bottom, and move out of your way, so as to watch you hit the ground. Hard.

And that's where I am now.

I'm afraid to leap. I'm afraid of the unknown.

So, I guess that when people say, "Before you fall for someone, be sure that they are ready to catch you," they don't mean it.

There is no way in knowing what the unknown holds. That is why it is called the unknown.

So, I guess that the unknown awaits me.

Because when I feel the time is right, I'm taking the leap.